It’s funny because it is so terribly true. In order to appreciate the vegan diet and benefit from it, you must be excessively educated on nutrition and health. How else could you possibly get yourself into this kale-infested mess of a lifestyle? However, select omnivores magically transform into registered dieticians when in the presence of a vegan. If you are eating breaded pork tenderloin with waffle fries and I am eating the hummus sandwich with steamed broccoli, then please tell me about nutrition. I am dying to know your secrets to preventing weight loss.
Of course, I am not perfect either. I can eat coconut milk ice cream like a champ and I often feign surprise when tater tots show up on my plate. “Did I order those? I thought I got the fruit cup… Oh no, no need to take it back. I guess I’ll eat them. Can you pass the salt?” In general, I am pretty close to healthy. Ok, fine. I’ll admit vodka happens sometimes, too. My typical vodka-induced response when asked where I get my protein: Where do you get your fiber? I’d love to provide you with some great sources of fiber except… I have to poop. I’ll be right back.